doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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