either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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