Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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