All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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