Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
