Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
