I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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