See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
