Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
