Sponge bath it is.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
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