I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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