I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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