OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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