I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
