Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
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I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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