Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
