OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
