By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
