HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize