umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
