I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just want nice things and good sex
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize