its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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