I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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