I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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