No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
