Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm getting married
To pizza
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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