I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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