Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
