saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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