some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
