Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
