Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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