the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
