did you get engaged???
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
