Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
