There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
