Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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