I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We talked him into tasing himself.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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