I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize