We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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