i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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