I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
