We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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