duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
