hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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