you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
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