You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
