We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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