We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
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