Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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