Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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