What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
