matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize