so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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