hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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