Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I believe in your delicious
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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