At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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