Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
