Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
